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In this episode we get to speak with Hayden Humphrey, he helps you get paid to be yourself and 10x your results. A few years ago he left his full-time corporate job to pursue his passions and create a life where he had more freedom flexibility & fun, he’s a professionally trained success coach and works with people like you conscious, highly motivated rockstars and helps you amplify your impact and get paid to be yourself. 

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Junaid Ahmed 0:12
Thank you for tuning in to hacks and hobbies with your host Junaid were visited by our amazing guests coming from all walks of life to learn their story, their struggles and their journey on how they got to where they are today. So stick around

in this episode who get to speak with Hayden Humphrey, he helps you get paid to be yourself and 10 x your results. A few years ago he left his full time corporate job to pursue his passions and create a life where he had more freedom flexibility Fun, he's a professionally trained success coach and works with people like you conscious, highly motivated rockstars and helps you amplify your impact and get paid to be yourself. So let's check out what Hayden Humphries talking about. So I'm trying to change up the format of how I started the podcast usually what I'll do is I would do the intro within the conversation and then you know, get into the episode, but I think I want to change it up a little bit where we just get into the company you start conversation and then I you know, I'll record the intro later on. And if I need to tell you that but I'm just something I've been experimenting because Because again, you know, this is this is kind of like hobby that started and I'm kind of growing it, but not putting too much time in it because I do also have a full time job. As a you know, user experience designer and you know, there's a lot of time, I'm thinking, Okay, I need to come up with what am I set, you know, standards of processes? Yeah, then I can hand off things for others to do for me. Yeah. And so I've been working on working through those things. So it's been it's been very rewarding overall. And it's been pretty, pretty fun. swell. So

Hayden Humphrey 2:26
that was the thing I realized in the podcasts that I run the elevat podcasts before I started, I was like, I have to get my process down. Yeah, to know exactly what I'm responsible for and what other people are going to be responsible for. This can be such a time suck. You know, me doing a lot of like administrative and editing and I was like, I don't want to do any of that stuff. Before I even started recording, I literally sat down and I wrote out from beginning to end like what I saw as the process of like what needed to be created in terms of content and show description and editing, and follow Follow up emails, templates, scheduling, like all of these pieces. And I luckily enough, the coaches training program that I'm associated with, and coaching actually have a media arm called accomplishment media. And they basically support coaches and starting podcasts and writing books. And so I've been actually using them as the production company, so to speak with my podcast where I just show up to the zoom. And, you know, I invite someone do a calendar invite that I want to work with. production company sends the email with the intake form, I get the intake form with all their information, I show up to the zoom meeting, or did they check levels they do all the editing in real time? And then they basically go through and post it so it's like this, like perfect, like, I'm really I'm so jealous.

Junaid Ahmed 3:51
I have to figure all of that out on my own.

Hayden Humphrey 3:56
Man, so yeah, so it's been good because that was the whole thing was like, how do I do Hand those pieces off. So that I think that I love doing which is, you know, having conversations with you. Yeah,

Junaid Ahmed 4:05
that's, that's what I realized. Because it all started like, I just wanted to do podcasts because I love creating media. And I finally got into creating the podcasts and documenting the process of you know, my beekeeping. And so I was recording the episodes on my way to work on my you know, on my way home, not an hour long commute. So I was like, you know, let's, let's just do this record it, you know, and then I would just publish it right from my phone. And then as I started doing the interviews and started talking, getting more into it, I was like, I'm spending way too much time editing these episodes, I need to find somebody to edit them for me. And then sort of slowly you know, slowly and slowly I figured out the process. And then I ended up getting power of podcasting course would pass Flynn. And that's been really great. Like, that's a little far, but I need to apply more of the things that he's teaching in there. On to the, to my podcast again, you know, like, like I say, you know, come up with those slps in the beginning, so then you're just doing the one thing that's necessary to do.

Hayden Humphrey 5:24
Yeah, I think I've realized it's even the same thing in how I interview people and how I basically vet people as to whether or not they're going to be a good fit. Because in the beginning, I was just like, yeah, you seem nice and positive, like come on the show. I've had a couple of I've had a couple people who have like, just, it just wasn't the kind of conversation that I was looking to have, for whatever reason. So now I'm realizing like the way that I have initial conversations with people is I very clearly articulate the vision that I have for the show and what I'm asking from someone in a conversation with me, because I, the I want to have like a very intimate, authentic open conversation with people, and not have it be a thing where they're like pitching their business or talking about how great they are, and you know, that sort of thing. Because I personally think the value and the thing that's gonna have someone want to buy from you, is you showing up as a real human, and not like pitching yourself. So, so I've had to, like set that up, and then enroll people in that vision and be like, Hey, here's what I'm asking. I'm setting the bar pretty high. And if you're interested in making this same impact that I want to create, like, and let me know and we can schedule a time to talk.

Junaid Ahmed 6:44
Now that's really powerful. That's that's really good in that, you know, you setting up the bar you setting up the standards for your podcast, because after all, it is your podcasts in it. And in some communities I've seen where you know, they're like because I've been part of so many communities on podcasts, and they're like, Hey, I just had an interview, and I don't think this interview what too well, and I don't think I'm gonna kind of publish it. And people were like, absolutely, you know, it's your podcast, and it's not bringing the value that you think to the audience, then yeah, leave it out. Mm hmm. It's, um,

Hayden Humphrey 7:25
I imagine that this probably difficult for some people, at least, you know, when I think about my immediate tendency, it'd be like, well, this person said, you know, spend an hour of their time with me and, you know, etc, etc. But I think that there's like a certain there's a certain level of ownership that you have to take as the creator of a product. And, you know, if what you're creating is truly in service of people, like you are, you then need to be willing to say, I'm actually not going to share this because it's not up to the quality standards that I want. we'd like it to be and that I know, the listeners are actually worthy of like, they deserve something that is high quality that is whatever. And so it's almost like you're taking the bullet for, you know, for the audience and for the, to get the value that they need, but it requires a level of commitment to the end product in your ego, you know, at the door.

Junaid Ahmed 8:22
It's almost like you're, you'd be doing a disservice to your audience, you publish something that's not in line with what you're trying to what your game is about. You know, so really, really awesome. I love it. So tell us a version of your journey that no one's heard of before. It's really good to have you here on the podcast. We met through unconventional leaders and you know, I would love to you know, get into the mind of Hayden have you know what, something nobody's heard of before.

Unknown Speaker 9:00
Oh, man, that's a great question. I might have to steal that.

Hayden Humphrey 9:05
Um, I think I, you know, I've talked about it in bits and pieces but never cohesively that I've, you know, I think, my journey over the past couple of years, and what I see really as like the core foundation of the life that I want to build is, is really seeking joy. And

Unknown Speaker 9:25
seeking play, in a sense.

Hayden Humphrey 9:28
Yeah, like, for me, the most important thing to me is personal growth. Always. It's like, what can I learn from this? How can I move myself forward? How can I learn more about myself? How can I practice something different? Because the thing that matters most is me fully enjoying and experiencing the richness and depth of life as much as I possibly can. And spending the most amount of time that I can in that state. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, everything that I've done from the you know, from where I went to college from where I interned to where I moved afterwards to my, you know, to leaving the first company that I was at after eight months to jumping ship and being self employed to becoming a coach, like all of these things have been in service of me, bringing parts of myself my inner self out into the world and creating a life and an experience. It's a direct reflection of who I am as a person. I think I just spent a lot of my life growing up performing and trying to be the thing that I thought people would want me to be and people pleasing in a lot of senses. You know, I view one of my core fears is that I'm just an unlovable person. And like, all people aren't gonna like me and you know, so I got to like, perform. I guess I got a smile a lot. I've been really positive. I got a laugh all the time. I got a, you know, not share with people when they've upset me or when I'm angry or, you know, whatever it is, and I've hidden a lot of those things away and I, the more that I, through chosen experiences and involuntary experiences, the more that I start to bring pieces of that, you know, out and I stopped performing and stop the show, so to speak, my life gets richer, I become more present, I experience less anxiety. I'm mentally connected to people in my life. And so I think in a lot of ways, that's really what has driven me and continues to drive me

Junaid Ahmed 11:37
to that's really intuitive. I'm intuitive. Because I really, and it has, and I see any time somebody makes a decision, a, you know, a decision like that like the one you made, where you're being very direct and very upfront. What you want out of it, it shows me that, you know, you've brought up in an environment where your parents taught you the importance of making these decisions. Right? Because from for for for as long as I can remember, I had very, very bad memory of, you know, all the things that I did was okay, this is what you're supposed to be doing. This is about the switch, you're supposed to be going to, you know, supposed to be going to computer science or you know, biology because those are the two options that we had in high school. And then when when I came to the States, you know, I finally ended up going to the area that out that I thought was exciting for me, in one way or another. And there was also you know, some some drugs restrictions, but again, I almost feel like that Even though I'm in my 40s I feel like I'm in my 20s because I'm making the decisions that I should have been making back then. So it's been, it's been pretty awesome. But keep watching your journey and listening to you know, the different decisions that you made very positively shows me that, you know, you, you, you had access. So you had mentors that showed guided you in one way or another or you know, or you watch, you know, people closely, or maybe you're the only child I don't know. I mean, I'm the oldest of seven siblings, right. So there's divided attention of your parents. Yeah. So there had you know, there's, like, I think about these weird things. But

Hayden Humphrey 13:45
yeah, no, I mean, you're so right. You know, I think that the way that we grow up does have a really profound impact on the people that we turn out to be and where we learn how the world works is our parents and our families. And the people that were immediately around us. And so if that's dysfunctional, there's a high chance that a lot of the beliefs that we have in the stories that we have are at least somewhat dysfunctional or disempowered. And I would agree, I definitely feel like I'm in a place now where I have more agency over how I make decisions and why I make the decisions that I do. And, you know, it wasn't always like that, like I granted I grew up I had a very privileged upbringing. I'm incredibly lucky to have had the upbringing that I did. And you know, the ability to go to college because not everybody is able to do that. And I was on that exact I was on the this is what I'm supposed to be doing train. I went I got the professional services job in New York. I, you know, moved to San Francisco, I worked at a startup I joined LinkedIn, like a much larger technology company and all of it was driven by this seems impressive. This is what is going to impress the most number of people. Yeah, I do these large Somewhat out of the ordinary, potentially difficult things. And the like, one of the biggest turning points for me was, when I was working at LinkedIn, I missed my sales quota. This is at the beginning of 2017, I missed my sales quote up, and it really shook my world up, which, which, you know, might sound a little bit dramatic, but the thing that I realized was how much I was letting my mood and how I connected with people be influenced by a totally arbitrary number, like completely arbitrary number, right? Like it is totally made up thing. And yet I was deriving my sense of self worth from my ability to hit that number or not hit that number. And not for a long time, like, you know, basically deriving my sense of self worth from my achievement and how successful I was and the results that I was creating. And so, you know, it's taken a lot of coaching and therapy and reflection and you know, all different types of experiences to get to the place where I feel like that's not so much driving the show anymore. Yeah, it's most important to me is serving and fully expressing myself and showing people how much I love them because I love a lot of I love everybody and I want to know that. But, you know, I, the reason I share all of that is that this the way that I now operate is available to everybody. Yeah. And so the agency in this sense of optimism in the sense of commitment and and being in relationship with other people it's totally available to everybody because I think it's it's it's our natural state as human beings Yeah, just gets covered up by conditioning and false beliefs and all these stories that are really just interpretations. They're not actually real.

Junaid Ahmed 16:44
Absolutely man that that that makes so much sense and when you said you know, you're now all available and then some of the things that I noticed is you know, you had you reached out and get a good head coaches to help you figure out okay, what is going on? Because a lot of the times you'll you, you hear these stories, and all the successful people have gone through some kind of hardship. Yep. And these hardships are, like, monumental. It's like, I lived in a car for eight years. You know, I, you know, either they're homeless or they're they've, you know, gone to the basements of life itself. You know, Jay I said JK Rowling's, you know, the author behind Harry Potter and what she experienced. Now, she was able to come up on top, you know, the story of Tony Robbins and you know why he went into the area that he went into and how he learned from Jim Rohn it's, it's really inspiring because it shows you that not every day, needs to be a daylight I mean, you got to have those night moments. You got to have that balance to be able to appreciate the fun times. Yep. Yep.

Hayden Humphrey 18:08
Yeah, it's about the contrast. It is, I think about what's happening. Wow. And I think it's being able to hold all of it, like we talked about earlier, like being with all of it. Like the great stuff and the really negative stuff. Yeah, I just posted on Facebook the other day about the importance of feeling your feelings, like all of your feelings right now, because I realized, you know, recently I came to this place where I was like, You know what, I don't, I don't want to distract myself from my experience, like my bodily mental emotional experience. So I deleted a lot of social media off of my phone. I'm like, not really drinking so much anymore. I don't know I'm not watching TV. Like I'm just I'm not trying to do distract myself from feeling and being with everything that comes up, especially the fear. Yeah. Because what I'm afraid will happen is if I repress it or if I avoid it, or if I don't talk about it, which is a natural tendency for a lot of people, it just gets pushed down and becomes trauma. And then it becomes a really traumatic experience. Yeah. So it's like you need to, you need to feel all of it. And part of it too. Everything is taking the judgment away from negative feelings. Like we only, I mean, we've been a little negative. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't have to be either of that is our interpretation of those things. And I think that there's, you know, there is a lot of richness in life. You know, there's a lot of vibrancy, when we allow ourselves a whole spectrum of emotions and, you know, being able to be with maybe the more painful things and also face the more painful things that have happened. Yeah,

Junaid Ahmed 19:57
yeah, I totally agree with that. And what some Thing is, you know, when you're raising kids, it's a totally different experience because now kids want to have fun all the time. And when they're not having fun, they're sad and bored. Like, well, you got to take in the boredom because if you are, if you're constantly having fun, you're going to have a very hard life. Yep. No, it's an important lesson that they've got to learn, you know? Yeah, you're they're home all day long. So you know, you have to look at Okay, what what is an appropriate time for them to go watch TV to go outside to sit down and do their do their workshop workbooks and homework or because all the schools are also going virtual? And they're like, okay, it's it's circle time. You know, we're reading storybooks. So all of that is very important. Totally. I think the thing I just they came up for me when you were talking was like, also the the Difference between play and distractions. Like I think I don't get me wrong. I love watching TV. I love playing video games I play so much Liga legends, like it's kind of crazy. I also understand that a lot of times it's a distraction for me.

Hayden Humphrey 21:14
Mm hmm. And like the real, the real feelings of joy and the real feelings of play and fun. Like the really deep rooted almost feel like it's coming from my soul type of emotions happen when I'm with other people and happen with not feeling anxious and when I've taken care of myself, and I'm, you know, not running around in these stories of overwhelm, or like, I'm not doing enough things or I didn't do a good enough job. I think that as people, if we let ourselves Sit, sit and let everything come up. What the underlying emotion is of the underlying experience is one of contentment and satisfaction and presence, and there's a lot of joy and positivity that can come from that. So I think that's the thing for you know, every everybody practice kids included, is like what does it look like to have fun without the distractions, but it just instead just like being and being present and being with others

Junaid Ahmed 22:14
Exactly. And I think this, you made a really good point about distracting versus playing because I find myself distracting if I find myself distracting myself continuously, right? I'm either either on social media, either, you know, looking at photos, I'm either, you know, having a conversation, but again, I'm distracting myself from doing the real work that needs to be done. And sometimes it's okay because you need your mind needs time to think and come up with these things or you know, solve problems and whatnot. But other times you just need to be still and meditate and let your mind you know, give it all the focus as you can because even though you've just Dragging yourself in your mind is working. You're taking away valuable, you know, clock, clock ticks or you know, like to say, you know, when you're rendering a video on your computer, you leave everything. You basically start doing everything else. So all of the CPU power is going towards rendering and used to shorten that time.

Hayden Humphrey 23:22
Yeah, I love that analogy.

It's, I love that point. And the thing that came up for me, as you were talking was, I've been really practicing presence in the last. And one thing that I realized in, you know, really trying to practice more consistently during the day was stopping myself from grabbing my phone and social media or looking at my phone. And what I realized is, I would go to grab my phone and I would stop myself. Yeah, because I'd like I'm like, I have no reason to check my phone. And what I noticed is I'd be really uncomfortable. It was almost uncomfortable to stop myself. From just unconsciously habitually checking my phone. Yeah. So I then go to like, what am I trying to distract myself? Like, what is it that I can't be with right now in you know, wherever I am on the train or walking around or at a party or whatever it is. And I've been reading, rereading actually a book called The untethered soul by Michaels. brilliant, brilliant book I would like that's the book that I suggest to people when for book recommendations. Yeah. But the part that in the book that he's talking about right now is how we've given our brains the impossible task of trying to control the outside world, not trigger us, just like ridiculous, like, whatever it is, yeah. And we wonder why we're so overwhelmed and why we can't turn our brains off. And so you know, I just think that there's like so much value in like being with a noticing and in a sense healing, the discomfort and the triggers in the interaction. charities that we have, so that we can walk around and be super present and aware and connected and loving and peaceful. And, you know, not have to perform and not have to think about Wow, can I can I share my feelings with this person? What are they going to say? Or can I say that in that way to this person or whatever it might be, like just getting responsible for the internal stuff. So you don't get triggered as much by the external stuff?

Junaid Ahmed 25:24
Absolutely. And it's, you know, when you said, you know, you, you stop yourself from grabbing your phone, and you feel uncomfortable. A lot of people are in that same boat with touching their faces.

Unknown Speaker 25:40
I'm doing it right now.

Unknown Speaker 25:42
I just touched my face. Yeah.

Junaid Ahmed 25:44
You know, and I was like, I'm trying to read and I was like, Okay, let's get into the bottom of it. You know, why do we touch our faces? Anywhere from 16 to 24 times an hour and it's insane and And the science is like, you know, human beings and the primates are the only are the only two animals who touch their faces because it is a way to cope with anxiety is a way to it's it's one way basically you're touching your skin and it creates some kind of endorphins or oxytocin which which interest causes some, you know, causes us to calm down or get get to, you know, a safe space. So one of the things that people are saying, okay, because that is one of the ways that you know, this these viruses transmit is from your, from your hands to your face. One thing that you can do is either you know, have like a fidget spinner or something to fidget with, or sit on your hand if you're not using your finger over if you think you're gonna be touching your face, and I'm like, wow, that's super cool. That's pretty cool. fidget spinner.

Hayden Humphrey 27:01
I think I have one of those. Yeah.

Junaid Ahmed 27:03
And then some people also would they'll do is they'll put on masks, like the breeding mask because they don't want to touch their face or even, even if they do touch their face, they're, they're, you know, they're protected. And if you touch your eyes, and they just put on put on glasses, so you're not to try so much. What's his name? Just this one guy did an experiment. He basically took this. It's basically his powder that can only be seen in black light. And he basically took to a classroom and they did this cool experiment. I was like, wow, that's, that's really cool. Like, you unknowingly. unknowingly you know, Mark robber. You unknowingly touch your face, and it's just weird. It's just crazy how we do that.

Unknown Speaker 27:57
Like those unconscious things. Yeah.

Junaid Ahmed 28:00
Yeah, it's like, but it's my face. Still, there's my nose still, there's like my hand, your hands are automatically checking in that. Letting your brain know, everything's okay. Everything's fine. Oh, well, I'm just been pretty great, man. I like the way we're going in the direction. So what, you know, what motivates you to be the coach that you are? And you did mention your coach?

Hayden Humphrey 28:27
Yeah, so I work mainly with folks around career transition, and up leveling their leadership. So with a lot of folks, it's, hey, I'm in this career that doesn't feel authentic to me and I unfulfilled and stuck. And yeah, I want to create something that's more free and genuine to who I am as a person, but I'm just not sure where to start. And, you know, the thing that gets me really passionate and motivated about it in at least in some senses is because that's my story like that. It's The thing that I went through I know that experience of going to college for a business degree and then feeling like this was the path that I had to take, I had to work in, like a larger organization, I had to, you know, do whatever do whatever it was. And when I got to that place, you know, I mentioned earlier where I missed my sales quota, it's kind of all that crumbled. And I realized, like, a lot, like, actually, I don't care at all what people think about what I'm doing. Like I don't, I don't care at all that people, you know, know that I work at LinkedIn, or whatever it is, and it took me some time to get there. Like, I was terrified to update my LinkedIn profile, that I was an entrepreneur. It took me like two months to do it because I was afraid to like, tell people that that's what I was doing. So granted, you know, I've had some experience, but now being on the other side, I'm like, I could not give any. I don't I don't care at all, you know, well think about what I'm doing because I love what I'm doing. Yeah, I love what I'm doing. I think I feel so grateful and so lucky to be able to do the work that I do and to get paid to do the work that I do, and to have the lifestyle that I have, like, I don't care if I was the only person working in my business for the rest of my life, I hope. But if that was the case, I'd be totally fine with that. And if you know, most people didn't know what I did, or my company, that's, that's totally cool with me. And so I think part of what motivates me is just knowing the experience that I had, and knowing that a lot of people are in the exact same place, and how much opens up in terms of your ability to experience life when you realize that

Junaid Ahmed 30:35

Hayden Humphrey 30:36
reason that you're making decisions most of the time is not conscious, and more so has to do with this very deep seated set of beliefs and you know, you could call them instructions about who you are and who you're supposed to be and how life is supposed to go. And in in a very nihilistic philosophical sense. Like, nothing means anything, right? Like there's literally no The only meaning that anything has is what we assign it. So everything is made up of stories, stories, which we don't have to believe. But we can actually rewrite those stories and write things that are more empowering for us. And in a sense, totally rewrite reality. You can totally rewrite how your life is going and the types of relationships that you're in and the work experiences that you get to have. But it requires a level of awareness and internal work that you can do by yourself. And what I found in working with a coach was I just texted, like, I thought I was doing like, I thought I was doing personal development work beforehand. And I'm a really self aware person. I'm very reflective, you know. And then as soon as I started working with a coach, I was like, Oh my god, I was taking baby steps. Comparatively, like having someone who's trained, literally trained to be able to reflect things back to you and your speaking and to be able to support you and cover you know, uncovering those core stories and those that elements of conditioning and supporting you and getting to a place where you actually get to, from the bottom up how your life goes and what it looks like and the things that you experience. That to me is just incredibly exciting. And I just love people, I just love people all the way up and down. And the work that I've done internally has gotten me to a place where I've realized that the things that I thought were wrong with myself, they're they're not problems, like they're not, they're not actually real, like

Junaid Ahmed 32:23
the flaws

Hayden Humphrey 32:24
that I had are not flaws at all. They're just who I am as a person. And so it's given me the opportunity to be much more compassionate with myself, and also are compassionate with other people, because I'm a firm believer that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have available. And people have very different tools. And a lot of times that had nothing to do with their innate goodness or worth as a human. Yeah, had to do with where they grew up who their parents were, you know, and what they went through. So the idea of supporting people and removing those stories and giving them better tools, so that they can go out and help other people get better. Tools.

Junaid Ahmed 33:01
That's just That's awesome. That's beautiful, really beautiful because I keep thinking, you know, you're comparing a frog with a butterfly, well, they're never going to be able to compete with each other. Don't put those limitation on yourself because your tools are not going to the same tools that somebody else is going to use. Yep, you cannot use tools that are used for jewelry to go do woodworking so you have to be very specific on what tools and you know what outcome you're looking to do.

Hayden Humphrey 33:35
And that experience that you're looking for which everyone is this one where we feel like we belong, we're loved. We have worked that's fulfilling. We get paid when we want to get paid. We have freedom and time and flexibility that is available for everyone. But the way that you get there is going to be totally different. Yeah, no, there is no way that you can look at other people and use what they did and use their strategy. Jeez, to create that experience for yourself, the only way that you can get there is going internally, trusting that you're already enough and that you have the tools inside of you to be able to create that experience. But it's a totally different approach. One that, unfortunately, is not more commonly focused on and so that's, that's a huge advocate of, you know, how I talk with people and the things that I talk about. Is this, you know, very different way of thinking about it.

Junaid Ahmed 34:27
No, that's really powerful. And I totally love it. It's almost like you're going to the center of the earth, and all the different problems that you're going to face that you've never thought about. Or maybe you've thought about it and because

Unknown Speaker 34:44
answering those questions and doing that homework of working on yourself and people, that's the thing, right, people don't want, like a lot of people don't want to work on themselves. Yep, like it myself included. I'm like, I'll do that research later

Junaid Ahmed 34:59
to the market. Being part first. Not gonna work. Right?

Yeah. And it's, it's, I totally get it right. Like I don't I don't judge people for that because it's very scary. It's a scary thing

Hayden Humphrey 35:14
to do. It's you start to go internally and you know, to look at your insecurities and to look at your fears, because there's a lot of pain associated with it. So, you know, the, it's like, the only thing that I can do is, there are some people I can't work with, because some people aren't ready to go there. Yeah, aren't coachable, some people aren't actually open to taking a look. And that's totally fine. thing that I can do is hold the space and make the invitation and be ready for those people when they are ready to do the inner work and, you know, do all those kinds of things, but it's like the only thing that I can do right now is like stand on the top of the hill. And like shout loving things down at people and like when they're ready, when they're ready to come up, come up and like yes,

I just have to, I'll be waiting for him. Yeah,

Junaid Ahmed 35:58
that's awesome. I love it. Really cool, man. Come up, come to the top by going through yourself. Yep. I love it. Alright, so we've talked about you journey. You know how you got here and where you heading. Where are you heading anyways?

Hayden Humphrey 36:18
Man, nowhere in the near future.

Exactly. It's not a problem. I'm more of a homebody anyways. Oh, this whole thing of like working from home and quarantining. I'm like

Junaid Ahmed 36:28
it's cool I don't go out much anyways, so what's funny is that a saw a lot of people posting, you know, everybody's like, oh my god have to work from home. work from home and all the people are gamers that spend hours in their dungeon playing video games. Like we got this. Totally.

Hayden Humphrey 36:54
Yeah, I think at a higher level though, like where I'm going is just like creating more love and joy out in the world. And I think the ways the the main vehicles that I'm using to do that are my coaching. So working with people individually, it's my podcast, it's, you know, the events that I that have been put on hold, but I'm looking at doing, you know, virtual versions of those events. Yeah. I'd love to do you know, speaking, I'd love to do more writing. Like, I just think these these topics and these concepts are so important. And it's really exciting to think about how I can encapsulate the things that I've learned and the journey that I've been on. And you know, provided to people in a way that allows them to come to the same realizations you know, because there's there's no downside in people becoming more self aware. There's literally a downside. upside. And the more people that do it, the more they impact the people that are around them. And it's just Yeah, awesome, you know, ripple effect. Exactly.

Junaid Ahmed 37:54
Well, I love it, man. This is this is really powerful stuff. This is this is what this podcast is about. You know, you through life with hobbies, and talking about virtual meetings, right? This is one way that we're able to connect like, you're in your home. I'm in my home where social distancing, you know, I have a conversation. I was reached a boyfriend and they're like, Hey, I have all these coaches that that all their events are canceled. How can we do this? Where you know, you, you combining? combining zoom, you know, video conferencing and Eventbrite. Like how can we do this? I'm like, let me do some research. Let me talk to zoom. Let me talk to you know, see what I can find. And I ran into two different startups that recently came out of stealth mode. One of them is called run the world that today enables you to set up virtual conferences. I was like holy smokes, this is so powerful to have, like, you know, you have a whole calendars of speakers. And so you can like jump into it that conference, you know, webinar here webinar there. And then you know, talking to people that are in there now like virtual rooms. I'm like, this is pretty interesting. I'm sure a lot of people are employing some sort of this and that.

Hayden Humphrey 39:23
Yeah. It's like, how do we connect, even if we can't physically be with each other? Yeah. Last night, I actually had a virtual dinner party.

Unknown Speaker 39:31

Hayden Humphrey 39:33
I do a lot of improv here in Chicago and just set it out where somebody else set it up. But there's a lot of my improv friends. We just all got on zoom and just dinner, we all ate dinner together. And

so yeah, it's just, you know, doing doing what you can with the tools that we have and

Junaid Ahmed 39:50
yeah, that sort of thing. And then a lot of the lack of the mentors or like, for example, Pat Flynn has been doing a live video every day on YouTube. answering people's questions. Right and then there's other people on there doing live videos and it's really inspiring to see okay, people now actually using these technologies that YouTube's been pushing Facebook has been pushing. And it's been really, really cool to see all of that. Alright, right. Let's get into some of the questions that I asked my guests. Towards the end of the episode. What is one hobby that you wish you got into? Oh, man.

Hayden Humphrey 40:32
Okay, I have a lot of answers for this man. Nick.

Unknown Speaker 40:35
Can I can I share multiple can share multiple?

Hayden Humphrey 40:39
Yes. Okay, cool. So I it's funny when I moved to Chicago, I was like, I should do hobbies because I've never done obvious before. Oh, I went I took a photography class, which is, which is awesome, loved it. They'll do a lot of it. And then the next year, I was like, I want to do improv. So did improv. still do a lot of it, love it. And you know Especially given the current situation I'm now looking at like, Alright, what's my next hobby going to be? And so there's a couple things that come up for me. One is drawing. I really love and feel moved by people who can just sketch things just from their good. Yeah, it's crazy, like people, especially people who are really talented illustrators. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I so wish I could do that. Just like see something in my brain and bring it to life on paper. And just do it for fun. Like that just sounds like such a cool creative outlet. So I think I'm gonna, I'm think I'm gonna start doing that I was literally, I'm gonna go to Target later. And also get some, you know, drawing supplies. But a couple other things. I really would love to do musical lessons at some point, I'd really love to play the guitar. I'd love to take vocal lessons. I think that would be really interesting and kind of confronting like, it's a little bit scary. Yeah, that would be cool. And then the last one, and this is the answer that I give to people. Sometimes, like occasionally, maybe once I got asked the question, if you could snap your fingers and be good at anything like what would it be? And for me it's hip hop dancing.

I could pick one thing.

Junaid Ahmed 42:13
My fingers and be great at it. Yeah, hip hop dancing. Nice. That's, that's so funny. On the drawing part, my my brother in law is really good. He's really good. He can draw Batman and all these superheroes with excellent accuracy. He's like, Oh my god, how do you do this? And he is a programmer. But then I follow these, these folks on tik tok and Instagram and there's just so amazing artists on paper, and it's just so beautiful to to see their creations. The practice thing. Yeah, it says, instead practice man time. All right. What is your favorite movie? Or TV show? Oh my god.

Hayden Humphrey 43:01
I always have a really hard time with answering what my favorite movie is, because I think it just depends on my mood. But I think if I had to go with my most watched television show, it's definitely the office. Like I've probably seen. It's double digits now.

Unknown Speaker 43:18
Oh, not at least, like,

Hayden Humphrey 43:20
almost 20 times that I've seen the first six, six seasons.

Junaid Ahmed 43:25
Yeah. Yeah, it's a good one.

Hayden Humphrey 43:28
Yeah, yeah. You grow leaves. I'm like, this is in you know, as just as a makeup day anymore. But like, it's just funny, like, anytime I'm watching TV. Anytime I'm just like, how to break I'll just like throw an episode of The Office.

Junaid Ahmed 43:41
You feel better. That's hilarious. I would do that with Seinfeld. Hmm, it's one of my

Hayden Humphrey 43:50
one that I've never I've watched a couple episodes. Watch more. Because I loved the first I think actually I might have watched like the first couple episodes ever

You know, obviously people love the show. So yeah,

Junaid Ahmed 44:02
that's what I needed to get into. No, I never watched it because I didn't grew up in the States. And when it was, you know, airing I wasn't, I wasn't in the States. I didn't have access to television. I can't remember. But I finally watched it. You know, binge watch the whole thing. And I was like, Oh my god, this is cool. And I would like to bring up Sue one time and Seinfeld and the you know, it colleagues and like, Oh my god, she's just got a lower again, because I'm sure you do that with the office.

Hayden Humphrey 44:32
Oh, yeah. Literally non stop, right? Like, you know, I'll take snapchats and Instagrams videos, scenes and like, send them to people. And like, it's, I still get a super positive response. It's just like one of those things that everybody can kind of relate on.

Junaid Ahmed 44:48
Yeah, it is. It's very, very neat. All right, next one. What movie would you choose if you got to play a character in it?

Hayden Humphrey 45:00
had these questions?

Unknown Speaker 45:05
Man, if I got to play a character?

Junaid Ahmed 45:11
Uh huh.

Hayden Humphrey 45:15
I think I don't know my brain immediately goes to like a superhero movie, huh vengers I really like the Avengers. Oh, actually, here's, here's probably what I would say. Guardians of the Galaxy, huh. Peter Quill I don't know what it is about that character that I just like, so good. I really relate to because he's kind of a dummy. And, you know, but he's just like, I don't know. He's just very human. I think that's, I think that's what it is. I think

Junaid Ahmed 45:41
it is. Very human guy. alien world. Yeah, yeah. And it's just I love those movies too. So nice. I love it. Um, so the origin of this question came from Ready Player One. And if you bet you read the book, no, yeah. Yeah. And in the book, you know, he has to be Matthew Broderick and wargames. I was like, hey, that'd be a really good question to ask. I love that. All right, so next question might I might I already know the answer, but let's see what you think. Who is your favorite superhero?

Hayden Humphrey 46:24
So I like so I'm going to change up my answer. I would say probably Iron Man. Oh, man, Iron Man's arc in The Avengers movies.

Like it's so powerful.

Junaid Ahmed 46:38
Yeah. Like if

Hayden Humphrey 46:40
you watch the first Iron Man movie to endgame in Avengers, like the arc that he takes, and coming back around at the end, like I'm actually getting goosebumps even talking about this. Like, just him like him choosing for love like him choosing from this place of just unconditional love. Loving compassion and like being willing to almost like sacrifice yourself in a sense. And it's so interesting because I realized every time I rewatch that movie, I pick up on other things. And there's a ton that that has to do with like, you know, masculine archetypes and what it means to be purpose driven and achieving said purpose and vulnerability and all these pieces. And yeah, I just think that there's something so cool and inspiring about that.

Junaid Ahmed 47:30
Absolutely. And I recently rewatched Iron Man three because I think that one's a really powerful one too, because you get to see the man behind the mask is like, I was using it as a cocoon. And now I'm out on the other side. Yeah. To a really powerful arc. And he just played it so well. It's just dust him. He's like, perfect. like nobody else can really play. I know. It's impossible. Like No, you can't be on And that's, that's one thing I like about Marvel is that well, it hasn't been that long yet. I mean, it's been, what 10 years. Because with Batman and Superman, they recast that character over and over and over for the past two, three decades. And Spider Man has been recasted a couple, you know, three times also. But that's because they didn't build a good enough story. I mean, I think the first Spider Man series was really awesome with Toby Tobey Maguire. I relate to that one a lot more because I was a lot younger than the ones and now Tom Holland has done a really good job also like Tom Holland. It's like wow, like it's he just changed the whole dynamic of it. And then now, spider man being part of You know the Avengers in the Marvel Universe it gives you totally different types of goosebumps. So that's pretty amazing. And great. Last question. If you were a board game, what would it be?

Unknown Speaker 49:16
Oh, these questions

Junaid Ahmed 49:22

Hayden Humphrey 49:24
man this is an interesting question because I don't I don't place many board games

I don't know I guess my brain goes to the board game that I know directly. Ladies, settlers sellers of tan. Oh, yeah. Are Katon. How are you, Tanya? Yeah. I don't know. It's just like, it's, you know, it's like, easy to understand, but there's like a lot of strategy Yeah. in it. And I associated with a lot of feelings of like community and friendship and

Unknown Speaker 49:58
just like joy and

Junaid Ahmed 50:01
Last Lily, I think it's

Hayden Humphrey 50:03
my answer. Yeah.

Junaid Ahmed 50:06
No, that's a really cool answer. And the game itself is almost like life like you're you. You don't know where you're going to start from. And you don't know you know which road you're gonna take to Expand your horizon because you can land be next to a desert next to you know, wood, but you don't have access to sheep or whatever. And you know, now you gotta like, find luck in life to be able to get that, like, actually in

Hayden Humphrey 50:40
adaptable and yeah, what are ways to win in that case? actly

Junaid Ahmed 50:43
Yeah, it's really cool. Awesome, man. Well, thank you so much for your time, man. Where can my audience find you?

Hayden Humphrey 50:52
Yes, so easiest place is just my website, which is just Hayden Humphrey calm. I'm also super Active specially nowadays on Facebook and just by my name, or on Instagram at Hayden as himself.

Junaid Ahmed 51:09
Perfect. Well, Hayden, thank you so much for your time. This was a fun conversation. You know, we got to learn about your superheroes and if TV shows and your, your hobbies and you know your journey so it's been it's been super awesome talking with you. Let's keep in touch and talk to you soon.

Unknown Speaker 51:28
Absolutely. Thanks so much man. Thanks for your time.

Junaid Ahmed 51:35
Thank you for listening to hacks and hobbies. You can find additional information on the guest today on the website hacks and hobbies calm. Please feel free to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss out on upcoming interviews with amazing guests.

Transcribed by

Junaid Ahmed has been a user experience designer for over 15 years. As a UX professional, he uses the user-centered design philosophy to come up with solutions. Trust the system, it works!

“People say that we only live once, but I believe in living every day!”

Junaid has been interviewing people from all walks of life on his podcast Hacks and Hobbies.