In this episode, we’ll get to speak with Tony J. Selimi. He’s a visionary, philanthropist, a cognition expert, and international speaker, filmmaker, business coach, educator, and an internationally published award-winning author and He made it really easy for me to come up with those words because his website is still very well maintained and up to date.
He wrote the foreword for the Magnetic Entrepreneur book series. I heard a lot about him through Robert J. Moore. Luckily, I was in the same network with Tyler Wagner’ Authors Unite platform, and I connected with Tony and he agreed to be on the podcast!
So tune in a check out the episode and discover Tony’s journey to success.
Tony can be reached through his website: http://tonyselimi.com where you can discover some of his award-winning books.
Tony J Selimi
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tonyjselimi
- Website: tonyselimi.com (Company Website) apathtowisdom.com (Book) thevelvetjourney.com (Company Website)
- Twitter: TonyJSelimi
Hacks to take Away
- Being homeless and reading books and surviving on just one slice of bread and water and trying to really see what is it my role in this chaos, to create an order and to create a service that I can help other people going around the world and how to really transform their lives.
- Get myself from that state into what we most people take for granted a normal life which is to have a shower to have the basic amenities.
- literally became this curious kid that wanted to resolve a lot of problems for mankind.
- literally became the curious kid that wanted to resolve a lot of problems for mankind.
- Part of his journey was really getting out there in the corporate world and making a name for himself in running technology programs and some of them are like billion pounds worth transformational technology programs.
- To be able to deliver those things and to be able to actually have better productivity, better performance, better energy, and better.
- One action person can actually affect the entire planet.
Junaid Ahmed 0:10
Thank you for tuning into hacks and hobbies with your host Junaid Ahmed. In Season Two of hacks and hobbies were visited by our amazing guests coming from all walks of life want to learn their story, their struggles and their journey on how they got to where they are today. So stick around.
In this episode, we'll get to speak with Tony J. Salome. He's a visionary, philanthropist, a cognition expert, and international speaker, filmmaker, business coach, educator and an internationally published award winning author and He made it really easy for me to come up with those words because his website is still very well maintained and up to date. But I've heard a lot about Tony g slim. He actually wrote the foreword for magnetic entrepreneur book series. And I heard a lot about him through Robert J. Moore. And I was like, you know, how can I get in touch with Tony juice lemon. And luckily, I was in the same network with Tyler Wagner. His authors unite platform, and I got to speak with Tony. And he's like, you know, I'd love to be on your podcast. So Tony, thanks so much for taking the time and coming on to the podcast.
Tony J Selimi 1:45
Junaid, thank you so much. And also thank you to Robert Tyler who interviewed me for his podcast. So it's a great honor to be of service and help many more people out there to follow their
Junaid Ahmed 1:56
bliss. Awesome. I love that the following the bliss Right, that's that's the, that's the thing that we all take for granted. But then those who take it to the next level, but taking that first step, like you mentioned, you know, take the first step, the next step comes right after is super, super, super important. So Tony, tell me, tell us a version of your journey that no one's heard of before. You know, from your website, you go from homeless to Hollywood, you know, this journey that you've taken through time, it's taken us so many different places and you've created this path in life for yourself that you're able to take on any challenges, take on any opportunities that you want to because of the struggle that you went through and because of the choices we made through life, and came up on top. So tell us a version of the journey that no one's heard before?
Tony J Selimi 3:06
Well, one thing I would love to share with your audience, it's the fact that when we feel at the lowest in our life, and for me, I will take just one moment of the many experiences whether out the lowest, it's we tend to lose hope. We tend to lose self worthiness, we tend to lose our self esteem. We tend to lose belief in anything bigger than ourselves. When it's got the universe energy. We tend to lose belief in other people that they can help us we simply go in this dark ocean at the depth of a huge ocean where the pressure is so big, and there's no light around
and that pressure can Any human being into a vicious person will go Sadat and become maybe a terrorist for it can actually turn that into almost this poison that poisons our light, our love our experiences and our skills and makes us crumble and makes us suffer and makes us ultimately become ill. And potentially most people end up in suicides. So I'm just taking you in that moment in my life where I was homeless on the streets of London, where basically following a civil war, following losing friends, family, my identity, everything that I ever knew about my life, and being a teenager 19 years old, homeless kid on the streets of London, observing this reality where everything seems perfect, yet I just left a reality. where everything was crumbling in front of my eyes and where does and snipers were shooting innocent people and everything was collapsing. Wow. So it really made me question a life. It made me think about what is it about our human nature that makes us those vicious people or makes us think that we are better than other people and therefore good for us this false positive have we have the right to go and inflict pain on other people or make them feel like they're not worthy of living, they're not worthy of being they're not worthy of contribution. They're not worthy of, you know, just liberating themselves and being free with themselves. And then you see other people on the other hand, being this homeless kid in London watching the passers by while I'm crying and grieving going on with them. Life like I never existed, like I never met up to them. And there's so many people out there in the world that they had the same feeling whether you being homeless, or, frankly, you could be in an office, which I later discovered is the same. Or you could be with friends, or you could be in your own family or you could be in a relationship, and you still have those similar feelings. So this is really something that went on in my head almost four and a half months, being homeless and reading books and surviving on just one slice of bread and water and trying to really see what is it my role in this chaos, to create an order and to create a service that I can help other people going around the world and how to really transform their lives. My first step was really hard to get myself from that state into what we most people take for granted a normal life which is to have a shower to have the basic amenities for your Soft have a roof over your head, to have maybe an education, maybe school, maybe a friend, maybe in a back to sleep. So once I got those things I really wanted to really continue learning about science, about knowledge about technology, about engineering, about quantum physics about life, the laws of the universe, literally became this curious kid that wanted to resolve a lot of problems for mankind. Because what I realized during this period that I'm experiencing, it's what every human being experiences at different times in their life, and in different forms. And this curiosity really led me to investing a lot of time, energy and money into developing myself. And my first part of my journey was really getting out there in the corporate world and making a name for myself in running technology programs and some of them are like, billion pounds worth transformational technology programs. One of the main roles was developing people to deliver that. And so I could combine my love for psychology and helping people almost like do an upgrade of psychology, to be able to deliver those things and to be able to actually have better productivity, better performance, better energy and better. I would say interaction with one another while you are facing challenges, because the fact of life is, we will never, ever, as a human race, not have challenges in in our future as we go forward. Absolutely what we can have its tools that helps us better overcome those challenges. And we will always have confidence around the world. But what we can have its again, we can have a way of actually turning that conflict into opportunity into collaboration and connectivity. And this thing about sex Separating people and borders and also polarizing people's opinions. So you can rule over them was something that was very close to my heart because I come from a civil war country. Yeah, this is what I've been seeing around the world wherever I travel, how easily nowadays people can be polarized through media through what they read through social media through main media, and then some people who may be want to take advantage of that. They take a bunch of that, and then therefore, they create not only a conflict within wherever they are, yeah, that conflict spreads globally. So you know, one action person can actually affect the entire planet. Intuitively, we all know,
is the only home we all share.
Junaid Ahmed 9:50
This is the only one. It's the only one. That's right. We're
Tony J Selimi 9:53
seeing a massive movement with people like we had like a week ago or 10 days ago, something like that. When we had the Climate change movement around the world, people are connecting into one philosophy which is in their Realization. This is our home. And what kind of homework I believe, for future generations is a question I would ask any human being in the world when they do something that may be consciously or unconsciously will have an impact on the people who will need to live after we are gone.
Junaid Ahmed 10:26
Absolutely. And going back to that conversation that the climate change conference to Dan, right, the little girl going up there and talking about, you know, what's going to happen with my kids with my grandkids, what kind of world are we leaving, and it's very powerful. You're absolutely right. This is the only home that we have. And, you know, I've been seeing Some stories are there people are posting and it's again happening that thing of the the echo chamber effect where there's people there's actually an entire organization of people that are coming around to say that carbon or carbon dioxide in the in the atmosphere is actually good for the environment because it's it's what the trees Breathe in. And there's a whole that there's a whole team people I don't know, what would you call it is there's a whole movement just against is climate change I you know, that this is Bs, which is really again, you know, it questions their motives like what are their motives? Why are they pushing this agenda, to, you know, negate of all the things that are actually happening because of this issue.
Tony J Selimi 12:00
Believe, Jeanette, it's everything that's happening globally. It's a necessity, yes, part of the evolution, and it's part of us as mankind going to the next stages of our evolution. Because if we don't have a problem, we don't have a course, if we don't have a course we don't have a problem. And if we really look at the science, and if you look at the laws that govern the universe, and govern everything that we see, those conflicting ideas will always exist, they'll just transform into shape and form. So in my belief, it's basically both of them are needed, because without one, the ongoing will never exist. And therefore as we go through evolution, they will be changing influence. So maybe Currently, we have some climate change issues. But as we resolved that would be another issue. And as we resolve that, they'll get another course and as we resolve that, and this is, you know, evolution of mankind. Yeah, go back and study thousands of year for history, which I have done on many occasions, you will see the same patterns Hearing, but in different forms, and we tend to become very emotional about it. And what I see a lot of my clients and leaders I work with people who run businesses who want to be more ethical, who want to promote sustainability, they themselves get caught in the conflict within yourself. Because certain things that we do on a daily basis, while we want to be so righteous about something, the reality is if you go out there, and you have to set up a family and you have to serve your children, and you have to go to schools and buy goods to feed your family, I would say about 50% of those goods. They're not ethical, but you're not thinking in the moment that they're not. Because that kind of moment in there. It's your child is needing something from you, whether it's a plastic bottle that you feed your child from milk, or whether it's a takeaway bugs that you actually take them to school, but we tend to almost like forget that Life. If we look at life, if we had this massive zoom from the universe and watching the planet, we would not have the perception of luck.
Junaid Ahmed 14:10
Yeah, sure. You're very right. And so I've been looking at it from other perspectives also, right. So sure, the information that they're bringing through forward is true because they're saying that, you know, a lot of the lot of the farms in greenhouses they actually install carbon dioxide producer generators. So they can generate carbon dioxide inside this, these these greenhouses, which doubles production, because now it's creating more carbon dioxide or more food essentially for the plants to take in increasing production, which is a valid point.
Tony J Selimi 14:56
So when we actually say okay, that idea is not good enough anymore. And this is how it happens to all of us like the things that we used to think that Okay, we're childhood, for instance, a child and could go and dump something on the street without thinking that it's dangerous. But as an adult, you don't do that. So we forget to allow ourselves for the shifts and the changes we need to do as we go through the ladder of the evolution of self, but also the evolution of our nation, the look revolution of the planet. And I believe that think which supports our values. Yes.
Junaid Ahmed 15:36
Emotionally reacting, you cut off again.
Tony J Selimi 15:42
Okay, so we've been continuing to really, when something's to force our values, we tend to jump on it and when something literally contradicts with our personal values, we tend to judge it in time. Yes, I could see the entire country being polarized and emotional. reacting. We have more polarized opinions. Yeah, that's true. And the bigger those polarized opinions become the lonelier, we're becoming ourselves. Yeah. ourselves, but every human being that potentially before we would
interact and share ideas.
So we're going from this connectivity to dis connectivity. And the more you polarize, the more you disconnect. That's the truth of fact of life and of the laws that actually govern nature.
Junaid Ahmed 16:34
That's, that's so true. So and, and yeah, there's there's no way to I mean, that's, that's human nature, right? We have and I don't even know where to start. But the reason we the reason all of this is reoccurring over time and time like you mentioned is because it is in the human nature. Even though we are evolving over time. The basic human nature is still the same from many, many, many years ago or decades ago or thousands, thousands of years, right?
Tony J Selimi 17:22
And millions of millions of years. Yeah, it's nowadays we have more of an awareness of actually we can control how we perceive our reality, but also whether we engage with a primitive or what some people call reptilian brain or in the medical field, we will call it the amygdala. Exactly. So basically this way we can actually control our responses therefore we don't overload our body with information and emotions that potentially tell this you stress which is healthy for our body into distress which becomes destructive. To our body. Yeah,
Junaid Ahmed 18:02
absolutely, absolutely and what we have to do and lot of times that reptilian brain is responsible for the safety of the person right and that kicks in to protect you essentially. And if you
Tony J Selimi 18:19
talk about it in pathways from the alarms, yeah, the alarm comes from the inbuilt system which we have. But you know, we as people have evolved, yes, the environment in which we actually operate has evolved. Yes, instead of actually almost giving an upgrade to this reptilian system, we actually engage with a downgraded reptilian system in an upgraded environment. Yeah. And that's where the biggest conflict happens for most human beings. Whenever I go around the world and people I work privately with, it's that conflict between your animal nature and your angelic nature. Yeah.
Junaid Ahmed 19:00
So beautiful. is fun powerful stuff, man. So every day what what is your daily? I mean, I know you work with a lot of people and you know, as a coach and as an educator, what is something that keeps you going? And I know we've talked a lot about us being aware of where we actually live mean, the Earth is our home, being gentle being kind to people around us is, is what's going to get us to the next step and being being collaborative is more important than being competitive. And I think over time, that's what we've been taught in school, the competition part, you know, you gotta be the best or your loser which is which is such a bad bad way of teaching our young children that, you know, this is how you grow up. But
Tony J Selimi 20:09
I wasn't saved bad. Okay, well, that was basically when we, when we almost like cross the fine line between competition and collaboration. Because in our nature, again, we are competitive. That's when we cross that line where that competitiveness becomes a danger to another human being. That's where the problem is, because we don't have the self regulatory system, or the emotional intelligence needed to be able to keep that competitive and collaborative nature in equally Yeah. Because they're both are needed. So it's not more one is better when it's worse. We have all of those traits within ourselves is basically as we become wiser when the self as we learn those two was this is why I created jaesi method allows people to use that tool to consistently be able to you own that this whole part but in a way that actually becomes of a service to you and to mankind.
Junaid Ahmed 21:08
Nice. Love it. Love it. Man, there's so many things we could just go on and on with the information I mean and that's why you have the many books that you've written because you've got so much knowledge and from the experience in the in the research that you've done over the years for these books and and for creating the the E TGS. II method. man that's, I'm just sell word. Flower Yes. What?
So what Really? I mean, I want to jump into some of the questions that I asked but who was your first role model that I mean, you you had gone through, you know, being homeless and being in that state but who was your first contact that enabled you to see how things can be different?
Tony J Selimi 22:24
My mom and dad, I was born in Macedonia in a town called gosta, which is northern Macedonia. And I grew up in a family of restaurateurs and farm owners, we have palm land. We have restaurants and my parents when they married just after the Second World War, they had nothing. Absolutely not. Yeah. So they, they built a fortune by serving people by feeding people. And by caring for people. And by consistently I mean, I've never had my parents complain about work. Yeah, so and equally for instance, I learned to make money additional six hours to sell farm products and milk products from the farm to our local Gypsy, Macedonian and Turkish Albanian communities. So, you know, when I came to England, and as my self awareness increased, versus in England or in western countries, they they see that as a child labor back at home, it's seen as enabling the child to be able to become independent as they grow. So, you know, sometimes we get on this, I would say self destructive ego, that we project our own values into another society, which completely out of context. Yeah. And I do not see me working in the farm and my parents teaching me how to serve people and all this amazing skills that Now certainly for life as a child labor with another parent in a country such as Britain or America, they will see that Oh, Your child doesn't have, you know, childhood. So, you know, I see the the whole, almost a disservice of children in western countries where the parent provides everything for them. So they don't have any, they don't sweat for what they get. Yeah. So this is we've created this almost like dependency with our children in western world where, you know, in, in this in the name of protecting our children with disabling them, instead of actually encouraging them to be able to do things like for instance, if they want pocket money, sure. Every day you wash the dishes and you go and clean the garden and you go and help a disabled neighbor or you you do some form of service Yeah, for that what you want. But a lot of the parents you may have suffered in their lives. They have that psychology, which I've seen because I work with other parents, and conflicts and addictions and all sorts of stuff. They tend to overcompensate by giving children a lot of things without the child Even earning it even being grateful to the very same parents who enable them to have an amazing life.
Junaid Ahmed 25:06
You know, so I think the balance of the two, it's essential for bringing our children. Absolutely and you, you brought up a really good point about children and raising children and raising that awareness of, you know, you have to earn, you have to earn your luxuries and, and I am myself, you know, I'm in that boat where, you know, I'll provide for my kids from you know, like, you know, you want you want to watch TV, here we go, you can watch TV and, or you want to go play outside, you know, you can do that or, you know, you want some toys, but, you know, we give that freedom to them because growing up we didn't have that many freedoms. And so there's but then the more I The more I look at it and like, you know, we need to teach them that, you know, everybody Cause has an effect. If you do something wrong, you're going to get punished Are you gonna have a time are you going to have a grounding timeout period. But anytime you do good or you you do service or you know, take the trash out, you clean your room, make sure you follow the things that you're supposed to be doing. You know, when you go to the restroom, you know, make sure you wash your face and brush your teeth don't go back and forth after being told this because you want to maximize the amount of time that you have and be efficient as well as being responsible. And it's really hard to get that into their heads because they're going to school and learning different things from their classmates and from what the school system is teaching them. So it's like, oh, that kid they can watch TV and play games and be on the iPad. Bad Why can't I do that? Well, we don't run the same kind of family. So those are some of the things that, you know, I talk about, talk to my children about, you know, being having that responsibility. And it's really interesting. Because I had not thought of that concept before that, you know, we are actually enabling, or we're actually teaching them life lessons. Instead of them them having to learn it on their own when they're older, and having their sense of self entitlement.
Tony J Selimi 27:45
Yes, I mean, in today's generation, wherever I go globally, and as I mean, all you have to do is go to a restaurant. See how many families spent that time being on their phones on technology? Yeah. So that can be action. That is that, that on its own, it's an alarm, an alarm, the fact that how disjointed and disconnected the family is, if a family cannot take an hour to be together without any technology that on its own, it's a problem.
Junaid Ahmed 28:14
Yeah. Yeah. But
Tony J Selimi 28:15
most people don't see that as a problem in today's world because they observe others, and therefore it has become almost a standard false positive. Yeah. And, you know, even if you take 15 minutes on the table, just to take some time with your children to be able to connect at a human level, and being able to have a meal, like it's, you know, we become, we've created this new addiction on technology. So, you know, you know, when people talk to me about addiction, about drugs and cocaine and all those things, and I said, What about technology? You know, cocaine used to be a drug that everybody was scared of. But the reality is, every human being on the planet has access to the most powerful drug, which is technology, right? And we're not educating People generally where the children, family, adults and everything else, how to consciously use technology in a way that does not create addiction because nowadays, we even have more people depressed about technology. You know, I've been hired by parents to look at to diffuse depression and anxiety and when I go into the family environment and see some of the conflicts that are happening is because those expectations somebody doesn't have 10,000 likes or 2000 likes on Instagram on on Twitter, and they become, like, I would say, depressed and anxious and behave they have this almost distractive childish behavior just because they didn't get what they want in that instant moment. Why some person from another part of the planet today expecting to validate. So you know, we create an oldest new psychological issues to children and then we feed them with unnecessary drugs, instead of dealing with a real problem behind Yeah, so there are many aspects of, you know, family, how the family and the parents can take ownership of action, creating a safe and healthy environment for the children to grow. So they become more spoke of self, Rick, have self regulation and self awareness, be able to actually have more of a loving and joyful experience with life outside the home environment and outside of the, I would say, online life that most children nowadays around the world have created. If you take a child and you observe their reality online, and you take that child and you observe they right in real life, this massive discrepancies yes in their behavior in their life in what they project outwardly and what's inside inwardly. So this is one of the reason I travel around the world and I get hired for different reasons. Some people its business productivity, performance for the people might be personal issues, family issues. relationship issues, sexual issues, addiction issues. So this is why I wanted to really, I spent 30 years learning various tools until I found a tool which I created myself. I thought, okay, since I've upgraded so many networks, technology networks, and the reality is if you don't have the heart of the business, which is the backend systems to provide the services to front end, no communication, no business happens in the company and with the customer.
Junaid Ahmed 31:29
Tony J Selimi 31:30
is what I mean, the the inner world that we have in our business is the inside infrastructure of the business and how all the communication gets passed on and communicated. So I when I spent four weeks in meditation of the tool I wanted to create, and I created a unique, one of a kind tool in the world. And I trademarked that Yeah, I was so grateful that all of those ideas come together and all my 30 years of expanding together A powerful tool that any human being can actually use. And it is what put me on a path to basically bring my work globally and to inspire 1 billion people use the tool in education and healthcare in business and leadership in government. So therefore, we can actually all contribute towards the fulfillment of those 17 un goals. Because I believe we are extremely rich, as a mankind, we just need to think a bit differently to be able to use collaborative and co creative and I would say inspiring energy to bring it all together and maximize the resources that nature gives us and what we give to me.
Junaid Ahmed 32:42
That's amazing. I love it. Absolutely love it. And the more I think about it, the more it's it's, it's absolutely needed for the human comfort for our generation for our future generations because we are handing the devices to young kids, you know, anywhere from as soon as they can start using the device, you know, for distraction for to take some time away to you know it, we just use this device to hand off and be like, Whoa, here, use this device so I can go do something else instead of using other methods of engaging the child's nature and their mind. So how does one, see this problem and get away, you know, not get away but try to learn and enhance their own mind or their own behavior while they're at it at lunch or while they're at sitting in eating food. How do how does one even take that standard start in the path?
Tony J Selimi 34:02
Well, I think there's no one solution for everybody. Yeah. Because our individual value and belief system, culture and environment and social economic situations dictates how people behave. Yeah. So for me, it's about what works for the individual. Because you know, what worked for one of my clients didn't work for the other clients. So therefore, this is why I understood this long time ago, and I really devoted my life and dedicated my life to help people. Yeah, but what I could say is for anybody who's listening to this is to look into their own environment. What is the healthy boundaries they see? That will help them? First of all to help if we're talking specifically about parents? What is the healthy boundaries they in themselves need to put because if a child looks at you don't have healthy boundaries, you're not going to enforce unhealthy boundary to a child. If the child perceives you you're not walking the talk. And most parents in the world are doing that. Yeah, that children intuitively will know when the parent is lying when the parent is trying to manipulate when the parent is trying to control when the parent is trying to instill fear. Because what most parents forget is the fact that child has its own psychology its own, I would say growth, its own value system, its own believes that they've been developing a moment they came into this world. Yeah. And we actually developed a lot of emotional stuff in our brains as developing even in the womb of the parent. So a lot of parents forget most people still think that when the baby is born babies blank. Wow, it's not
a lot of evidence, scientific evidence out there that tells you it's not Yeah, guess when he needs fruit, he will cry.
If you really observe that, you will see that and it's so beautiful to observe it. So what I would say the first principle that wisdom is the principle of present moment awareness. Yeah. So become aware of That moment in which you perceive something that may be destructive, on the other hand may be supporting you because when something supports us, we become blinded by the downside of it. Yeah, we just think, Oh, this is amazing. But we're not forgetting how that amazing in this case, for instance, okay, let's give a child everything. We forgetting that by giving everything they're not going to learn to appreciate what you just give them. So I would say the first thing is to people become present in that moment and see what kind of healthy boundaries or healthy behaviors they want to instill for the reality they want to experience. Because a parent of them majority of parents, I do know they want the best for their children. But sometimes is the country because because we're children perceived to be best for them. It's not necessarily matching what the parent wants, right? So it's about really understanding those I would say, value system and how to be able to communicate in each other's value system. So this Always a collaboration between and instilling healthy behaviors the child that can use for life to be able to move forward because a lot of people when they, you know, they look at my social media and say, oh, wow, he's a very successful guy. But if they were to read my books about the wisdom, hashtag loneliness, they will cry. Yeah, they will cry over if I had to go through in order to do what I do. But also, when I teach my battle planning for elevate living, which is a five day like, life optimizing and business experience, most people see the beautiful pictures of amazing locations. But if you ask my clients or you come to the experience, it's 10 to 12 hours intensive work. somebody like me drilling you for 10 hours about your life problems and the life things that you want to create in your life. Yeah, and then we have moments in the morning for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner, and only on the sixth day, I get myself Is to experience the reward. So meaning five days, I will grill them, I will instill a lot of faith during this one, yeah. And then they know them the sixth day they will be rewarded. So you know, the punishment and reward, it's part of our animalistic nature, essential for us to have that. Because if we don't believe me will be totally out of control. And some people and children are very good at pushing boundaries. Yes. Yeah, in fact, it's nowadays where the Society of those things starts with yourself. Yes. Therefore, when I actually work with clients, will be looking at every single area of their life, their business side, their leadership style, you know, all professional because some people don't run a business, some people work in the profession. And all of those people, all of those behaviors, actually, you know, they show up in every area of your life. So therefore, when I help people instill new behaviors and actually bring them into alignment with what's truly valuable to them in that moment in time Yeah. Everything changes around them everything reshuffles including the way they communicate with themselves, with their children, with their family, with their partners with their social network with the place where they live, what they do, what they work and the kind of impact they want to make in the world. So what I've seen is the more I help my clients look great, the different systems of living and models of reality that they've learned from a very young age, the more those are great, the more the experience of life, I'm grateful. So whether it's like getting better jobs, opportunities, better connection, better products, to serve more people, therefore to receive more money and to be able to invest that money whether in investments for their for their children's education, home, it doesn't matter. Yeah, you can upgrade your life. If you haven't really upgraded your psychology.
Junaid Ahmed 39:49
That's absolutely true. That's absolutely true. And a famous song, you know, man in the mirror, by Michael Jackson. That's exactly what he's saying. Like, changed?
Tony J Selimi 40:03
Yes change the man in the mirror but we tend to have this awareness of momentary awareness. We realized that with words and most people, like last night, I went to a very beautiful led by Friday, which is people successful people going on a rally with a very expensive car to do that with my clients, which is a unique experience that I offer. And a few other people I was sitting down they kept using the word I know. And then I upgraded depth psychology within five minutes when they burst into tears where they realize when we tell ourselves I know something we actually shutting down. If that knowing it's not in alignment with your reality, you actually lying to yourself. Yeah. And you and your inner being knows that definitely will shut down because you're not living room for you to learn and to grow.
Junaid Ahmed 40:53
Tony J Selimi 40:54
So just changing the psychology around saying the person who was sitting in me instead of Keep telling me you know all of those things. And there's no evidence of that. How about if you change the language and say, I'm aware of this thing? Yeah. And then say, okay, by being aware, I need to do so. And so for me to bring that into my reality, therefore, I now know what I now own it. And the reality shows I have it. Yeah. People in the personal spiritual development industry in the world, I caught up with this idea that they know everything. So what I was saying is, this is where the people around the world wherever I go, they keep telling themselves, you know, they've learned something in the seminar or in a book or something like that. Yeah, no,
Junaid Ahmed 41:37
Tony J Selimi 41:40
I mean, the reality. Yeah. There's no evidence to that. Yeah. This is where basically, if you ask any of my clients around the world, they know I stopped crashing those illusions. One of the things I'm not sure if you know, but with some of my clients, we co partner we created a film in documentary series called Living revolution. Basically Through the transfer motivate transformational work that they do with me, we put the camera back at them. Yeah, creating a new trend in the film and documentary series where people as they go through this work, they can actually use that as a mirror. So we teaching those 25 principles to real examples of real people with in the moment, filming with no stricted. Yeah. When I bring them to the awareness of what's true to them, and you get those tears of inspiration and joy and the human being in themselves real eyes, that kind of, I would say the bullshit thing that we tell ourselves Yeah, that are being intuitively inside of us knows that we're doing jack this mask to the world, which is something I'll be talking about in my upcoming book called The path to excellence. The kind of masks that we develop on the period of time, where we're afraid to go back and crush them. Crush the illusion so the truth can come out like it Yeah, I love when those things start to come up, you start to radiate. You don't gravitate.
Junaid Ahmed 43:05
Yeah. That's beautiful. I love it. That's, that's really, really powerful and, and the more aware we are of our surroundings and like you said, you know, you you, even though you're aware, even though you say, you know, you don't really know because you haven't walked in those shoes you haven't experienced the struggles of a parent of a newborn, a parent with newborn babies or, or parents with three kids or parents with four kids, it's, it's, it's very different than just being like, Oh, I could I could say it and that's where the term of sympathy and empathy comes in. Right? You're either sympathetic or empathetic. It's, it's like you have an understanding or a know or an awareness, but you can't really Being those shoes unless you've actually traveled pat yourself.
Tony J Selimi 44:06
The truth, Jeanette, is we actually even don't because, you know, even I might have an awareness, I might have awareness of one minute of your life. Yeah. You know, I'm not that 24 hours with you being a parent, and what's this like to deal with? With your child? Yeah. So I might observe a moment in your life where I've seen your children. And that is extremely limited for me to base a decision or to base an action to be thought about somebody who may be a parent. Yeah, I can teach you the psychology. It's after you do that. But this is what is the same thing when we actually limit ourselves. And this is where I see most of the problems. People out there make who struggle financially with their health with a relationship. It's how limiting their psychology is. And once you start really upgrading that, you start creating a new boundary and I say to people, when people start doing this work, I said, this is never So when people ask me, how long do I need to work with you? My question to them back, he says, How thirsty are you for wisdom for life? And for In fact, yeah, you want to make it. And if you have this huge cooling means will be working for many years exactly help you really deliver that and really make a big impact and also get what you want. Because, you know, there's always this idea that people are altruistic know, every human being out there. They do something because they want something in return. Yes. And a lot of people are afraid to acknowledge the truth. Because other people might judge them for what they want. A wise person knows how to transform the internal wisdom gives the external world Yeah. And when when people tell me about wealthy people, I said, Well, which one do you know which one do not? I go back and apply those 25 step in my methodology until they become tearful and grateful. Yeah. The fact that God that who else the people who employ people will be making a A service. You know, let's take Mark Zuckerberg, you know, he is one of the richest youngest people as well. But he provided a platform for billions of people to connect and share all of our pain and all of our greatness and all the things that we perceive. Yeah, but we take that for granted. Nobody is in his shoes, managing a big companies such as Facebook and being also equally responsible for anything that happens in face. Yeah. What I see is people they want the success but they do not want the pain that goes with Yes, this was upsetting the behavior of many children are there in the world. They want an instant text message well, and success or relationship without putting the work that somebody puts out there and really create the steps and I you know, I met many wealthy people out there and all these wealthy people have in common, they provide huge solution for mankind. That's right. When people ask me to be wealthy I said, well, invest in yourself. awakened states in yourself that know what kind of service you want to bring, create a product that people want, and going to the world serve many people. So the more people you serve, the wealthier you become. It's a simple equation and that it's in alignment with laws of fair exchange. Yeah. nature, nature teaches all of us that yes as we tend to have this skewed perceptions about the relationship we have with nature and nature has without forgetting we are nature. Yes, forgetting that those relationships are already built within ourselves. We don't have to look outwardly for those. Yeah we do.
Junaid Ahmed 47:37
That That is so true. Because when you say you know you we people just see the end product and they want the end product. Like for example, when you go out and buy honey at the store, you know, you you pay a certain amount and you you get honey that you can enjoy but if you will Look at the back. And how much work it goes into creating that honey, collecting the honey. A single flower, right? A single honey bee can only collect one 12th of a teaspoon worth of honey and its lifetime. Yeah, right. So you see the grandness of the entire world just by looking at a tiny insect like a honeybee, and what it takes for it to bring this delicious you know, product for us to consume. Wow,
Tony J Selimi 48:43
yes. But what people also forget that in the same product, some people could be also allergic
Junaid Ahmed 48:51
to die. Absolutely.
Tony J Selimi 48:52
So this is what we tend to forget. We tend to look at things in life as one sided is a perfect example. Yeah, so Whether it's success, we see this one sided or failure. When we go through depression, we see that as a one sided that we at the bottom of it, and this is when I go back and throughout my history of my life and for those people want to learn about it. That will means they can read the books and they can, from 12 of 12. Our documentary I co created with my clients will be available on Amazon and that on its own, it's a thought provoking that on its own was challenged. Many people sit back and saying, Where am I lying to myself? Where am I lying to the people, I love ya. And bring that awareness so you can have some form of self correcting mechanism for you to live in your truth.
Junaid Ahmed 49:45
Wow, that's very powerful. All right, well, we've had some really awesome conversation have learned a lot from these conversations about you and about the psychology how we behave and I've had several conversations similar to this with other guests that are, you know, talking about the mind or the that are talking about the different alarm systems and how we perceive things and it's just a great refresher. I have some questions towards the end of that I asked my guests if you're ready. Yes, go for it. Awesome. What is one hobby that you wish you got into?
Tony J Selimi 50:35
painting and the reason being when I was a kid, I used to do a lot of drawing cartoons and nature and objects nice and part of me sort of I always missed that part. Yeah, the creative part of myself, but I'm creative in liking, writing and people business and products and all of that, but painting I would love to maybe spend either 12 weeks with an amazing teacher and he does this Crash Course or unfair?
For me to be able to paint my world? Yeah,
Junaid Ahmed 51:05
that would be, that would be amazing. That's nice. There's a gentleman who started this movement called Inktober about 10 years ago so every October it's it's basically every day you're you're using your pen and paper and just drawing something yeah he's got some prompts out there so on the first day you know you draw something that that's related to a ring the next day so every year he's got a little card so if you don't know what you want to draw every day you get take these prompts and draw based on that so there's it's it's a pretty amazing movement the whole world is neuron Inktober calm you can check out why he started this and then it's really cool it and he he had a similar thing like you know, I want to draw more. So what do I do you know what, so he started challenge and it's been going on for 10 years pretty, pretty neat. Thank you for sharing enough salutely Absolutely. Next one, what is your favorite movie or TV show?
Tony J Selimi 52:10
Well, TV show would be friends and
would be I mean, I read thousands of books and each one of them for me, it's been amazing. But one of the things that I, I love, especially in the work that I do is the On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin about the revolution and are basically the theory of evolution. Yeah, one of the things that for me, it's been a book that instilled in me the hunger for our origins and how to be the best service to mankind.
Junaid Ahmed 52:45
Nice. Very beautiful. Okay. What movie would you choose if you got to play a character in it?
Tony J Selimi 52:58
Pretty Woman which Good.
Junaid Ahmed 53:03
Classic very nice. Awesome. Who is your favorite superhero? It has to be Superman. Superman. Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Last question. If you are a board game, what would it be?
Tony J Selimi 53:24
if I was a board game, where it would be
monopolies a good one.
Junaid Ahmed 53:40
Yeah. monopolies. Really good. Good running. Nice. Nice. Well, Tony, thank you so much for taking the time this was really awesome talking with you. I learned a lot and I would definitely like to continue conversation and you know, keep in touch with you and see what Your next book is coming out and you know, learn more of how you got here.
Tony J Selimi 54:06
Thank you so much. For anybody who's interested, they can go to my website, Tony silly me.com to NY se Li Mo calm and that all the links in there, whether it's my work my books, articles and connect with your social media and people will follow. Whether it's on my public FaceBook page or my Twitter account or Instagram account, my LinkedIn people can find all the information in there so at least they can start their journey. Awesome. And for those entrepreneurs who want accelerated results, they can check the vital planning page. It's a one of a unique experience for people who really are ready to invest their time, their energy, their money with an expert who can help them really upgrade their psychology for the results and the outcomes in life they want to create beautiful.
Junaid Ahmed 54:51
Thanks so much, Tony. We'll talk soon have a great day.
Tony J Selimi 54:56
Thank you very much. Bye bye
Junaid Ahmed 55:01
Congratulations, you made it to the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening to our guest on this episode, please send me an email at Junaid at hats and hobbies. com to tell me what you loved about our guests today. You could find links mentioned in this episode on the hacks and hobbies. com website
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Junaid Ahmed has been a user experience designer for over 15 years. As a UX professional, he uses the user-centered design philosophy to come up with solutions. Trust the system, it works!
“People say that we only live once, but I believe in living every day!”
Junaid has been interviewing people from all walks of life on his podcast Hacks and Hobbies.